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Books I've Been Reading
  • Life on Earth: Understanding Who We Are, How We Got Here, and What May Lie Ahead
    Life on Earth: Understanding Who We Are, How We Got Here, and What May Lie Ahead
    by Mike Dooley
  • The Japanese Art of Reiki: A Practical Guide to Self-Healing
    The Japanese Art of Reiki: A Practical Guide to Self-Healing
    by Bronwen Stiene, Frans Stiene
  • What's Your What?
    What's Your What?
    by Julie Moret
  • California: Then and Now®: People and Places
    California: Then and Now®: People and Places
    Pavilion
  • Security is a Thumb and a Blanket (Peanuts)
    Security is a Thumb and a Blanket (Peanuts)
    by Charles M. Schulz
  • The Voice of Rolling Thunder: A Medicine Man's Wisdom for Walking the Red Road
    The Voice of Rolling Thunder: A Medicine Man's Wisdom for Walking the Red Road
    by Sidian Morning Star Jones, Stanley Krippner Ph.D.
  • Myths of the Cherokee
    Myths of the Cherokee
    by James Mooney
  • What to Do When it's Your Turn (and it's Always Your Turn)
    What to Do When it's Your Turn (and it's Always Your Turn)
    by Seth Godin
  • Working Class Mystic: A Spiritual Biography of George Harrison
    Working Class Mystic: A Spiritual Biography of George Harrison
    by Gary Tillery
  • Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See
    Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See
    by Bill Shapiro
  • Beatitude Golden Anniversary 1959-2009 (Beatitude Literary Magazine, Volume 50)
    Beatitude Golden Anniversary 1959-2009 (Beatitude Literary Magazine, Volume 50)
    by Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac
  • Where the Sidewalk Ends: Poems and Drawings
    Where the Sidewalk Ends: Poems and Drawings
    by Shel Silverstein
  • Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You: A Journal
    Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You: A Journal
    by Robie Rogge, Dian Smith
  • PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death, and God
    PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death, and God
    by Frank Warren
  • The Field and Forest Handy Book: New Ideas for Out of Doors (Nonpareil Book)
    The Field and Forest Handy Book: New Ideas for Out of Doors (Nonpareil Book)
    by Daniel Carter Beard, David R. Godine
  • American Girls Handy Book: How to Amuse Yourself and Others (Nonpareil Books)
    American Girls Handy Book: How to Amuse Yourself and Others (Nonpareil Books)
    by Lina Beard, Adelia Beard
  • The Secret Language of Birthdays: Your Complete Personology Guide for Each Day of the Year
    The Secret Language of Birthdays: Your Complete Personology Guide for Each Day of the Year
    by Gary Goldschneider, Joost Elffers
  • American Splendor and More American Splendor: The Life and Times of Harvey Pekar
    American Splendor and More American Splendor: The Life and Times of Harvey Pekar
    by Harvey Pekar
  • I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence
    I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence
    by Amy Sedaris
  • A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story
    A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story
    by Donald Miller
  • The Growing Edge
    The Growing Edge
    by Howard Thurman
  • Mind as Healer Mind as Slayer: A Holistic Approach to Preventing Stre
    Mind as Healer Mind as Slayer: A Holistic Approach to Preventing Stre
    by J.K
  • Kindred Spirits
    Kindred Spirits
    by Matthew & Terces Engelhart
  • Original Self: Living with Paradox and Originality
    Original Self: Living with Paradox and Originality
    by Thomas Moore
  • 1000 Ultimate Adventures
    1000 Ultimate Adventures
    by Lonely Planet
  • Last Words
    Last Words
    by George Carlin
  • Seriously...I'm Kidding
    Seriously...I'm Kidding
    by Ellen DeGeneres
  • Cash: The Autobiography
    Cash: The Autobiography
    by Johnny Cash
  • It Happened in Oklahoma (It Happened In Series)
    It Happened in Oklahoma (It Happened In Series)
    by Robert L. Dorman
  • Lost Austin (Images of America)
    Lost Austin (Images of America)
    by John H. Slate
  • Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion
    Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion
    by Gregory Boyle
  • Milk and Honey
    Milk and Honey
    by Rupi Kaur
  • Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately
    Stuff I've Been Feeling Lately
    by Alicia Cook
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Saturday
Jan072017

Prophecies

The shortest woman in the congregation approached me after services.  Her shock of blonde hair knotted on top of her head was the only indication she was making a move through the crowd.  Bounding over chairs as the rest of the large congregation waited patiently to file out of the auditorium, she made a beeline directly towards me.  I was waiting patiently for my row to file out when she approached with her blonde topknot and wide smile to make her introduction.  “I hope you’re open to things like this,” she said.  “I am being given a message from your angels.  Would you like to hear what they have to say?”  Proudly being a new-agey Californian, I replied curiously, “Of course.”

“Well, I just feel like you’re supposed to be up on that podium,” she said.  “Your have a story to tell and we’re supposed to hear it.  You’ve been gifted with an experience that will help to heal people.  It will help so many.  I don’t know exactly what your story is, but I just feel like you’re supposed to tell it.  Does that make any sense to you?”  I couldn’t speak, but my subconscious was nodding furiously.  “Yes, ma’am.  That does make sense.  Thank you for telling me.” 

With that, she gave me a hug and stepped away.  The congregation had dispersed, but I stood there for a moment with the realization of what had just happened hanging heavily overhead.  I knew exactly the story that I was supposed to tell, but it was not something I felt others would be receptive to hearing.  Perplexed, I exited the auditorium and made my way towards my car.  I wondered to myself, “God, is that you?  Do you seriously do things like that now?”  My mother would tell me to beware of false prophets, but I had to wonder, “Of all the people at the 11am service – why did that sweet woman pick me?”  

And, so, with that - a tiny seed was planted. This nudge I needed from the universe to get back to writing and sharing on this little blog of mine was squarely delivered months ago, but I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I certainly have been gifted with a diverse set of experiences and a deep longing to share those stories in a search for meaning.  If they'll help to heal others the way this sweet, little blonde messenger said, then: Amen.

With the fresh calendar page of January 2017 quickly filling up, much has been on my heart and mind.  I want to know that I'm living a life with purpose and meaning packed in between all of the flurry of activities. I've been searching my heart and my mind for what that purpose could be for years now.  Could it really be as simple as sharing my stories?

I drove myself to the beach tonight just in time for sunset.  I sat looking out at the cotton candy colored clouds as they melted into the horizon and I thought - you can do this, Hillary.  You can try to share, again.  

You see, sharing your personal stories can be scary.  It opens you to a vulnerability that is akin to nakedness - and if that nakedness leads to rejection, then you'd better have a pretty thick skin or some broad / sloped shoulders so you can brush it off.  

I can't claim to have either of those - but, what I do have is a heart that longs for connection.  And, if experience has told me anything - you aren't going to find that connection or that meaning in isolation.

So, here's to sharing our stories and opening ourselves to new connections, healing transformations and miraculous discoveries.  

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