*exhale*

It has been a MaJoR two or three months.  

I've been writing some poetry.  But, mostly, I've been thinking in poetry.

Sometimes, whilst running around frantically -one phone to my ear, the other ringing on my hip -

I can feel my heart protest by leaping right out of my chest

and wrapping it's white knuckled hands around the thick of my throat -

eyes bulging intensely.

It says, "No, I won't. No, I won't.  No. I won't."  

As steady as our Native drums.

No, I won't.

No, I won't. 

No, I won't.

It chants to my spirit -who sings, "Be".

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelieve.  Beeeelieve.  Believe."

And, once again - 

my heart is coaxed back inside its' cavernous home.

Chanting, chanting, chanting.

Oh, to find a new tune -

to be receptive to the age old tune of my spirit.

Believe.

Be. Leave.

Believe.

No, I won't.