Home, Sweet Home.

I've been traveling since March 6th - with only two or three nights in my own bed - often just a 12 hour lay-over in Houston before jetting off to the next event destination.  (I do event marketing to pay the bills - so, I often have to travel from city to city.)  

The month of March was in like a Lion and continued to roar all the way into April - and, after a five city tour that took me from Miami to Orlando to Austin,  home to Houston, and back to Miami - I am so happy to be at home in Humble, TX.  

It's funny to me that my tiny little patch of lawn brings such great pleasure to me.  And, I'd rather catch some rays in my very own hammock, than on a pristine beach with white lounge furniture - especially if the choice is that I must do these things alone.  There's something about the security and serenity of your own space that just allows you to be at home with who you are and what it is that you're doing at the time.  

When I'm out in the world, on my own - I find I often have to explain myself.  

Explaining yourself to strangers is such a surface exercise - and one that I find myself engaged in DAILY - when I'm on the raod.

For example, I was eating lunch in the South Beach sun, alone - as usual.  My salad and iced tea were delicious - and I was enjoying the variety of people that were buzzing by as I watched and ate.  An older woman caught my eye, she was animated and energetic as she strolled along with her two friends.  As they approached the restaurant where I was seated, her eye contact told me she had something to say to me.

She gasped, "Are you eating ALONE?"  

"Yes," I replied.

"I could NEVER do that!" she exclaimed, more to her friends than to me - at this point.  I responded, "Oh, I do it all the time.  Nearly every day."  

Shaking her head as she walked away, I heard her mutter, "Sad..."

What's so sad about being alone, anyway?  I mean, I feel it - I feel the sadness when I am alone.  More times than I'd like to admit - but, I also have found a sweetness to it.  There's a solidarity that I hold with myself.  I can say this much - I truly enjoy the company I keep when I'm alone.  I find myself and the expanse of my own mind to be quite entertaining.  And, I often surprise myself with my own reactions and responses to the world around me.  Like that lady, and her clucking tongue and sad, sad eyes.  

She felt sorry for me - and that made me sorry for her.

I understand her fear of being alone - but, somehow-God has allowed me the grace to understand that even when I'm totally alone and distanced by miles and miles to the nearest person who would claim to love me...I am not alone.  I'm more aware, at those times, of the one-ness of us all.  Of the collective energy of God's Universe and how we all play a part.  I'm determined for my part in the whole to be one of encouragement, or a smile, or a reinforcement of courage and integrity.  I want to add to the goodness of the world - and I want that to be evident when our eyes meet.

Don't pity me - encourage me, woman.  For you are as connected to the whole, as I.  

But, back in Humble, TX - on my hammock - I can allow God to rock me to sleep as I sing lullabies to the world - and, never once do I have to explain.