Tired of being Sad

I'm sad.  Often.

I suppose you could say that I have lived my entire life with a broken heart.

And, that has handicapped me.

It has cost me relationships.

It has cost me happiness.

It continues to oppress me.

The best I seem to be able to do is have "days".

Days where I don't cry.

Days where I go outside to see the sun.

Days where I try to get past the ache in my heart.

But, it's always waiting for me.

And, I seem to always default back to the pain.

I'm tired of being tired.

I'm sad that I'm always so sad.

I need a friend.

I need love.

I need affection.

But, you can't be a bundle of needs with nothing left to give.

That'll cause people to run.

And, so I hide it.  My pain.  My sadness.  My ache.

And, I own it.

It becomes me.

And, I must say...it's a contstant.

It never lets me down.  

It just robs me of everything else.