"...terrifying calls for help."

Tonight, I turned it all away.
Tonight, I just unplugged.
Turned off the phones-
Left the door knock, unknown.
Found myself drifting into an early evening sleep.

The voice over the answering machine was warm
it felt as though it were speaking right to me
from within the room
the person vibrating in that tone
is one of my favorite people on the planet.
I relax deeper into the softness of the bed.
I begin to feel the pulse in my neck-
and feel the scratch of my breath
in
and
out.
my nose is a little crooked, you see.
and it tends to feel like its sideways,
the air scratching its way into my chest
rather than free-flowing.

i rather like it.
it's unusual.
atypical.
like me.

the neighbors tonight are arguing.
only one's not a neighbor to me.
just someone whos here in this moment
contributing to this one scene.

she's obviously upset with him
and they jolly the blame back and forth
when my ear picks up on their frequency
the sinking of my stomach
gets the best of me

i refuse to get back on the internet.
i must not try to check on my phones.
i will not pull out those files.
i will stretch and be conscious of my bones.

i will dive into the consciousness of my breathing.
i will lean into the curve of my thigh.
i will breath into the stretches along my back
and become concious of myyyyyyyyy spine.

the television is keeping me company.
offering something above the neighbors shrill cree
and i am sinking into the stillness
and the exhuberant experience of being with
me

"...and, the terrifying calls for help when a bridge 
collapses - in Minneapolis. 
That's next on your evening's News. 
Your News, First."


That's not news.

That happened like 2 weeks ago.

We've all heard the story, and lived the horror of the rubble.
Because you play it. Over and over, again.
And, it frightens us.
And it de-sensitizes us.

It sedates us.

we are all sedated.
by fast food and tv news
"ain't nothing goin 
that my mind needs to ponder on.
life like thst is overrated." ---
i wanna be sedated.

it's time we see
that the vulgarity
and the fighing that goes on
between
neighbors.

is the world we've created
and the lives we've all waited
and, that global warming is something
from you and from me.

that iraqi war is really happening
and young men are really dying
the ocean is being polluted
and the ozone is burning- as we're tryin'

to buy the new magazine
or find that new Coach
to read about Lindsey
or to eat another double Sonic Burger on Texas Toast.

the lives that we are living
you know 
the one that's happening now?

it's the world that we've created.

we are all sedated.
by fast food and tv news

and she says, 
"ain't nothing goin 
that my mind needs to ponder on.
life like thst is overrated." ---
i wanna be sedated.