I have a whole host of doubts that like to sing choruses in my head.  They like to tell me things like, "You're wasting a perfectly good canvas."  And, "You'll be laughed at if you show anyone this."  

But, the defiant little girl inside of me screams at the top of her lungs and quiets them all - "Quiiiiiiieeeet!  I'm CrEaTiNg here - and I mustn't  be distracted by little ninnies, like you."  

I prefer to use the word "ninnie" to describe those horrid voices in my head, anyway.  Makes them sound as equally ridiculous as they really are.  Where in the world do those voices come from anyway - and where did they learn to HATE me so well?  I wish I were kinder to myself in most ways - but especially when I'm creating.  Painting.  Writing. Singing.  Attempting to play the guitar.  If I could just push mute on my brain when this is happening - well, that WOULD be heavenly.  As a matter of fact, I think it IS heavenly when you can - even if it is just for a few moments.  And, heaven can be practiced at little increments of time - here and there.  Oh, look, I just went two whole sentences - without ripping myself to shreds!  Here's to progress!  

This "heavenly" silence is something I'm cultivating through focused effort. Kinda like meditating - only the meditation is on self-love.  Self-Kindness.  Self-boasting instead of self-loathing.

And, I liken it to releasing myself from my own prision.  I liken it to the rubbing of a genie bottle.  With some coaxing, and some polishing - this beautiful, otherworldly creature will emerge.  She'll excite me with the newness of her vision - and with a wink of her eyes - she'll silence those inner critics, once and for all.  Ninnies that they are...

So, for the past couple of recesses - I've been painting this very image.  Bringing it forth from my mind - and onto that perfectly poised canvas.

It's a work in progress - but, it's been so fun to play with swirling colors - of my own choosing.  The smoothness of a freshly painted line - the transparency of watercolors.  It's been an experiment for the past three days - and it's been so rewarding.

Tuesday's recess was a full half hour of dancing. All over the house. In my striped athletic knee socks, and with Jack jumping along beside me. We danced in the living room, we danced in the kitchen, we break danced in the hallway, and moonwalked through the laundry room. We did the chicken dance, and we walked it out - and I laughed and laughed when I saw the UPS guy looking through the door at Jack and I - as we danced to MGMT. Dancing is one of the best ways that I know to lift my mood - in just a few seconds. It raises my heart rate, gets my mind thinking on other things entirely - (like the beat of the song) - and gets your blood flowing - which lifts my mood, so quickly. You don't have to dance for an entire half hour. It was kinda difficult to do that...honestly, I kept hearing the phone ring - or thinking of other things to do: but, when I was just letting go and dancing - I was having so much fun! I think that's part of the challenge with recesses, for me: Letting go and allowing myself to have fun. By allowing, I mean - actually giving myself permission to be silly for 30 minutes before I get back to the "serious" work at hand. Like emails, and expense reports, and budgeting. Etc, etc. To inspire you: here's one of my favorite dancers of the moment - in two of his performances from Ellen. You're gonna love this kid: Now, go-dance!

I love to read a handful of web-sites that help me to simplify and be more productive.  Wellll, guess what?  One of those web-sites (www.unclutterer.com) has selected my Home Office as their work-space of the week!  I am so thrilled about it!  

You can take a look at their site here:

http://unclutterer.com/2009/01/09/workspace-of-the-week-wall-writing/comment-page-1/#comment-26331

Those of you who know me, know that my office was a major project of mine in 2008 - and it has helped me to create a balanced (and more zen) work life.  

If you haven't, yet, you owe it to yourself to spruce up your work environment.  

The unclutterer.com FlickR photo pool has lots of ideas to motivate you, too!  And, the site offers great tips on how to simplify your entire life - not just your office.  Check it out!

To all my Oklahoma Friends -
If you live anywhere near campus - you should go to the Post Secret Event there on Wednesday. I SO wish I could go...I've been crusing the site for a year or so - every Sunday - and they never have an event near me!

PostSecret Events in December
University Oklahoma, OK
(Open to the Public)
12-3-08
www.postsecret.blogspot.com


If you haven't already heard of Post Secret, it is a fascinating social experiment that this guy name Frank started a few years ago. Essentially, he encourages people to send in their secrets on the back of a postcard, anonymously. He then publishes them on the web, every Sunday. Some of them make it into books, which he publishes every once in a while. I haven't bought myself a book, yet...but, I will someday!

Below, I'll post a few to show you what I mean. Warning: This stuff is addictive, and cathartic, sometimes disturbing, but almost always revealing.

Love you all,
Hill

mitch hedberg = genius.

And, yes-they are listed in a particular order:

My Glo Worm was my best friend. He went everywhere with me, and I can't remember a time we ever had to change his batteries. I always remember hunkering down underneath my "Smurfs" sheets, at night, and how he'd light up the space underneath the blankets with this green glow, and I would talk to him and tell him how much I loved him. :)


Care Bears (I had the Blue one, but I always loved that Lion...I even had one of those "cloud cars" for my bear. Yep...with star and rainbow stickers all over it.)


Teddy Ruxpin - I finally got Teddy after asking for months, and he quickly became one of my most favorite diversions.


Sesame Street - I LOVED Ernie, Cookie Monster, and The Count -and was really annoyed by Big Bird. I remember severely disliking that big, yellow punk.






McDonald's Playground and Happy Meal Toys (especially the Cabbage Patch ones)

I was reading www.Dooce.com again, today-and found this commercial she recently posted for a bedet.

She pointed it out, but I just have to mention-
that guys face, about 00:27 seconds in-
made me laugh so hard that I dropped my laptop.

Enjoy. :)

PS. Are we missing something here in America? Should we be washing our butts more than once a day?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHAIVXIjRmw

Guys, I just got my "It's a hairflip" shirt in the mail from Chris' store on DistrictLines.com and in honor of my complete and total excitement - I had to post this video. :) Hope it made ya'll laugh the way it did for me. Chris is too funnyyy...

I responded to this ad on Craigslist last week.

This week, I have a new family member: Jack, aka "Cracker Jack", "JJacked Up", "Jigggity Jack", and my personal favorite "Jack Wack".

He is AWEsome! He fetches. He listens. He likes to snoooze. He walks perfectly on a leash. He’s POTTY trained! Duuuuuude, he’s a dream.

So, I’ve fostered him for a week-and I’m highly considering making it official.

So....without further ado- Meet Jack!

wow.

ha

Caution: This video probably won't "go over" at work - unless you work with me, where you should totally turn it up and tell me to come over to your computer for another dance party.

Chris Crocker, pre-Britney drama, shows us how to dance our blues away.

I laughed so hard, but mostly because I dance EXACTLY LIKE THAT when I'm alone. hahahahaha

"shake every possible body part."

you may have already seen this floating around, but it makes me smile.

there's something so sweet about the fact that he doesn't smack charlie up-side the head the way i would've.